How self-criticism impacts your baby’s development.

Yes it’s a bold statement - but it’s grounded in research and it’s a really good reason to start a simple meditation practice today!

As women, we are generally hard on ourselves and rarely feel worthy enough to cut ourselves some slack. But did you know that beating yourself in pregnancy and as a new mom up can impact your mental health AND your baby’s development?

Research suggests that as moms, our inner dialogue can significantly impact our interactions with our precious little ones. Being overly self-critical can unintentionally hinder the quality of our interactions that support our baby's development. That's where self-compassion steps in as a game-changer - not just for you but for your baby’s mental health too. It doesn’t stop there, these findings extend into toddlerhood, with Gravener et al.(2012) finding that maternal self-criticism, but not child criticism, was associated with poorer infant attachment security at 20 months.

Antenatal maternal mindfulness has also been associated with better self-regulation and lower levels of negative mood in 10-month-old infants (van den Heuvel, Johannes, Henrichs, & Van den Bergh, 2015). These findings indicate that maternal mindfulness, even during pregnancy, may be positively associated with early infant development.

Beebe et al. (2007) found that at 4 months,self-critical moms exhibited less gaze and facial coordination with their infant than did those who were less self-critical. If that’s not a good reason to put down that stick you’re beating yourself up with for not being the perfect mom, I don’t know what is.

This study aimed to ascertain whether associations exist between maternal mental health at 30 weeks of pregnancy and 18 months’ postpartum focusing on self-criticism, mindfulness, and maternal bonding. Previous research has indicated that self-criticism may lead to poorer attachment, as moms misinterpret their infant’s signals and spend less time with them due to feelings of inadequacy.

In the current study, self-criticism was not associated with quality of maternal bonding or maternal pleasure in interaction with the infant, but was associated with greater hostility and resentment toward the infant.

Researchers believe this is due to the loss of control and autonomy that a self-critical mom may experience during pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood; this may negatively impact bonding, with feelings of resentment being projected onto your baby.

One of the antidotes to self-criticism is self-compassion practices (yes it’s a mindful meditation practice - more than saying a nice affirmation to yourself).

Mindfulness in postpartum isn't just about nurturing your baby; it's also about nurturing yourself. It encourages you to embrace self-compassion, developing a kinder relationship with yourself as a parent. There’s also good evidence that mindfulness practices in pregnancy are associated with a healthier more resilient stress response in your baby!

Here's how self-compassion practices can enhance your parenting journey.

1️⃣ Reduced Stress: When you're kinder to yourself, you lower stress levels, which is not only beneficial for your own well-being but also for creating a calm and nurturing environment for your baby. Self-compassion is associated with the release of oxytocin, that wonderful feel-good bonding hormone.

2️⃣ Enhanced Bonding: Self-compassion helps you connect more deeply with your baby. When you're not overly self-critical, you can be more present and responsive during those precious moments of nurturing. Offering ourselves compassion makes us more likely to be compassionate to others around us.

3️⃣ Improved Confidence: By practicing self-compassion, you boost your confidence as a parent. Confidence is key when it comes to making parenting decisions and feeling secure in your role as a new mom.

4️⃣ Resilience: Self-compassion helps you to bounce back from setbacks with grace. This resilience can be a powerful tool as you navigate the ups and downs of parenthood.

Your self-compassion not only benefits you but also creates a nurturing atmosphere that sets the stage for your baby's optimal development. That’s got to be worth 20 minutes of your time a few days a week during pregnancy.

Tracy